Today I confronted my demons, well one major one, my ex husband, my husband and I had flown interstate to be with our grandson for his first birthday to see my daughter and her partner and have a lovely visit, my other daughter and granddaughter came along as well and it was lovely to catch up and do fun things, at the end of that week there was a birthday party for our grandson, where, inevitably I would have to see my ex husband and all those emotions would come flooding back, ones of a loveless hopeless, marriage, his passive aggressive behavior and his snarly sideways looks he would give me. Ten years of stalking me and it filled me with dread.
I battled for months before we left, how I would face this man again, be in the same room with him and remain composed, to a point where I was making myself sick.
When we arrived we were greeted and as he walked past me I took hold of his arm and pulled him to one side. I said “it’s been a long time since we broke up”, “20 years he replied”, I said “I just want to put it all behind us and say sorry, and I hope you are sorry too” I then reached up and wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug, he said sorry as well and although tension still was a little thick, I made an effort during the day to go up to him again and ask how his elderly mother was doing as she wasn’t able to make it to the party and waved goodbye as we left.
I released those demons on that day and in my mind that old wound is now healed and I am glad and I feel free from it.
Isn’t forgiveness wonderful?