Who are you?
Who do you think you are?
I mean really, truly, deep down who are you, what are your good attributes, your weaknesses or flaws that make you you?
I don’t mean the person your parents or caregivers told you you are or are not, what you are or not worthy of being or having but your BoushBah your internal blueprint that makes up everything that new born baby had when they entered the world.
Because that is the true you, the authentic you, the one people are drawn to and admire and gosh it’s hard to rediscover who that person is, especially if you have lived a life of abuse or degradation, put downs and “put up withs”
But it’s important to go and discover your BoushBah and here is where you begin to discover who you really are.
I meet people everyday who think they are stupid, ugly, fat, worthless and so many things that people have told them they are. Sometimes it’s to their face and sometimes it’s through actions or gossip.
If you are told these negative things long enough, you believe that’s who you really are, trust me, I did. I was shamed all my life, shamed as a liar, so people wouldn’t believe me if I ever spilt the beans that I was being sexually abused as a child, fat shamed constantly even though I actually wasn’t even fat. My mother’s favorite come back to have my sister say to me when we fought as young siblings was “tell her I’d rather be skinny and healthy than fat and unhealthy like you” I was only about 9 and not fat nor unhealthy, but you know what? I became both of those things, because I had to listen to it constantly.
I believed I was a liar and a horrible person, attracting to me others who would go on to believe those things about me and reinforce them into my own psyche, empowered by the belief that it must be true, everyone thinks so. Have you ever heard the saying “if you are being treated badly by everyone then there’s a common factor here – YOU”?
Well forget that load of bullshit because the truth is you are amazing and wonderful, no matter what you look like, what you have been through or who has hurt, it is them who is the common factor and their factor is their own insecurities. You see, people have to put you down to make themselves feel better about their own pain.
So shoo off the moths that hover around your flame trying so hard to flap their wings and snuff the light out, let them be free to go and find themselves and work out their own issues and find your Boushbah. That eternal light that can never be extinguished no matter how hard anyone tries. That is, once you are strong enough to believe it yourself!
Aurora – Rocking my BoushBah