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Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

I love this saying and I was  quite surprised that it was written for Nelson Mandela by Marianne Williamson, It speaks volumes about how we have so much power inside us to be what ever we want to be but that we scare ourselves let the fear stop us. And if we just believe we can be what ever we want to be, then we can and will.  And have every right to be!

 

That’s my thought on it anyway 🙂

 

Aurora

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Fighting My PCOS Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome Part 1

**Please note I am very graphic with my details in this blog**


When I was young about 15 I  suffered with heavy periods and mind numbing cramps when I had my period, so, as they do, I was put on the pill, that lasted all of about a month, I felt so ill I went off it and forgot about it, learning to deal with the pain instead, using hot packs and a Panadol.

As I got older, around 17 -19 I had horrible pains, which I would later learn through my own investigations was Mittelschmerz, lower abdominal pain that occurs in women at or around the time of an egg is released from the ovaries (ovulation). However I was told it was stress and to just relax and when that didn’t help and I actually passed out from the pain one day, I has in hospital having my appendix out!  That was the “diagnosis”

I continued to have pain and as I also had undiagnosed Fibromyalgia, I wasn’t sure half the time where the pain was coming from, I simply hurt all over and now I was developing new symptoms, hemorrhaging, massive clots and just feeling sick all the time, doctor after doctor would see me and send me away with new medications, which never worked and only made things worse, I was diagnosed with the same banner they put people in when they fit into the “too hard basket” depression! I had never had a depressed day in my life so I refused to believe it and also refused to take the anti-depressants they were trying to get me to take.

I went on about my life, got married and worked, usually with a lot of pain, but I just thought I was lazy and so I pushed through, I started to gain weight around 19, being told now that THIS was what the problem was, I needed to lose weight and all my problems would go away, I hasten to add I wasn’t even overweight, merely well-developed and curvaceous, however the weight did continue to pile on and then all of a sudden I missed several periods, I would go over a year with no period at all, “lose weight, you’ll be right” was all I was told, so I did, I lost weight and now my periods returned with a vengeance, back to the hemorrhaging, massive clots and just feeling sick all the time, now I was passing hard polyps and in and out of hospital having Dilation (or dilatation) and curettage (D&C) they would find large polyps and remove them then I would go home and nothing would change.

One day after D&C I was recovering in the hospital when I felt this horrible pain in my stomach, as I had put up with so much pain for so many years I just laid there, when the nurse came in I asked her for some pain relief, “you don’t look like someone in pain” she said, I rolled around in pain for a while then felt so sick I was on my way to the bathroom when I felt one of those horrible gushes and onto the floor was blood and a large polyp, when I pressed the button and the nurse came in she looked at me, looked at the floor and said “oh my you must have been in a lot of pain” duh!!

The doctor told me there wasn’t much to report and to go home, I did, and I continued on the cycle of heavy periods and no periods. Not game enough to continue seeing a doctor or telling anyone how bad I felt, I simply continued on.

After many years of this roller coaster of pain, hemorrhaging, anaemia, fatigue and sheer frustration, I wanted to get pregnant, but by now I was not even having a period, at all again!!. I was not coping at all well, especially when the doctors told me I would never be able to conceive due to the lack of ovulation.

To be continued…………

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Just because you cant see the wind….

“Just because you cant see the wind, doesn’t mean it does not exist” Aurora T

I have been asked what the meaning is behind this quote and here is the answer..

I felt it covered everything I do and I believe in, Mind, Body and Soul.

Mind: I believe that what we think we attract, so even though we can’t see the energetic level these thoughts vibrate on, sooner or later you will know it, as you will attract those things into your life.

Body: As I suffer from illness’ that can’t be seen as such, like a broken leg can be seen when it is plastered, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t real. I have learnt to never judge people unless I know the facts and this has come about from being judged myself when I have needed to wear sunglasses in a bright shopping center for example as I have had a raging migraine and no one to go to the shops for me, and countless times people have said to me “you don’t look sick”

Soul: I can get information from the other side, and I feel things about people, why? I don’t know, I see it as a gift and I use it wisely, however I can’t see it, but it does exist.

And that is where the quote comes from, I use it, I believe in it and I love it!
Aurora T

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Get Twitting

I decided to join twitter about a month ago, it wasn’t long before I had over 200 followers, sure you get your share of spammers and freaks who just want you to click on their affiliate links, but after I tweeked and twittered I learnt how to weed them out and now I have a lovely range of people who, like me are on there to help others and of course promote their web sites and to share their feelings, pain and things they have found useful.
It has also been very interesting to read the symptoms of other people with FMS/CFS and other automimmune diseases, there is also a wide range of people who are proactive in helping to reduce their symptoms and others who find comfort in sharing how they feel, knowing they are being heard and understood.
It has given me a lot to think about and to write about in the future, so to my fellow tweeters, I thank you for being my friends.
If you would like to follow me my twitter name is thepathbeyond

Happy tweeting
Aurora T

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